What God Asks of Husbands – by Gary Thomas

My love for Scripture is matched only by my love for Jesus, and the love of one is the expression of my love for the other. Everything I aspire to be as a husband is because of what the Bible calls me to be. And since Jesus was never married, I have to take the bulk of my instruction as a husband from the other words of Scripture, which I take to be as authoritative as the “red letters” of Jesus.

My fellow husbands, what I’ve found is that when I rightfully understand and seek to submit to all that God’s Word calls me to be and do as a husband, I don’t have any time left over to wonder if my wife is holding up “her” verses. So,  let’s look at what the Bible actually calls husbands to be. A “biblical” husband:

1.Never makes his wife’s life bitter

Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.” The word “love” is in present tense, meaning unceasing and ongoing action, while the language for “treating your wife harshly” is in the aorist tense, meaning a one-time occurrence. In this context that means when it comes to a husband being harsh with his wife, Paul’s policy is Not. Even. Once. You don’t get to treat your wife harshly when you’re tired, frustrated, or it’s at the end of a long day and you’re not getting what you want out of life or marriage. A paraphrase for Paul’s advice to husbands would be, “always love, never be harsh.”

Another translation for harsh, by the way, is anything that “makes her life bitter.” If I believe the Bible, I should never do anything that makes my wife’s life bitter…read more